Star Trek: Into Dumbness

A warning – below the dividing line is a long series of massive spoilers for Star Trek Into Darkness, the latest film in the franchise, currently in cinemas worldwide.

During the last week I’ve watched the first 7 Star Trek films starring the original characters, as part of a review for Ann Arbor Review. This weekend I saw Star Trek Into Darkness in the cinema.

For those with only a superficial understanding of the Star Trek franchise, the first 6 films followed the original characters – Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty and all. There were then 4 film starring the The Next Generation cast – Picard, Data, Worf. The 11th film, directed by JJ Abrams has a time-travel/history-changing central idea, and stars the original characters at a younger age, played by different actors.
Into Darkness is the 12th film in the Star Trek franchise overall, following directly on from the 11th.

Star Trek Into Darkness is exciting, fast-paced, filled with obvious references to previous parts of the franchise, but there were a few times that made me laugh at how little skill the material was handled with.

I didn’t find Final Frontier, a notorious mess, as bad as Into Darkness. I’m pretty certain I laughed more at The Voyage Home, but that’s actually meant to be a comedy.

I’ve been thinking about what I liked and didn’t like in each, and have come up with 4 components to doing Star Trek right. It should be

• Superficially exciting
• Have strong character definition and interaction
• Have meaty moral or philosophical arguments
• Take place in a well-structured universe with understandable scientific and political rules, even if the science differs from what we know to be true.

Most versions of Star Trek don’t meet all four – for example the first film (The Motion Picture) is incredibly slow, failing the first requirement. First Contact doesn’t have much in the way or moral arguments, and there are notorious episodes  that fail all four, even from the classic series, such as Spock’s Brain, where aliens steal… Spock’s brain.
Into Darkness certainly meets the first requirement – being up there with the best of Star Trek in excitement, and achieves a pass on the second requirement, even though it’s a mixed success.
The third and fourth it fails miserably.

I’ve been thinking, both while watching and reviewing the first 7 films, and after seeing Into Darkness, about what I like and dislike about Into Darkness. I’m going to put a few thoughts down.

As a warning, the following is going to be absolutely packed with spoilers for Star Trek Into Darkness. Read on at your own peril.

JJ Abrams, by Gage Skidmore

Squawka: West Brom 5 Manchester United 5

Writing for Squawka, I’ve written a statistical analysis of Sunday’s match between West Bromwich Albion and Manchester United – a mad game that ended in a five all draw.

Too many more games like that would probably have given him a heart attack.

Click here to read my stats-based match report.

A Little Late Lower League Week

The second last Lower League Week went up late in the week last week, so appropriately enough, the link to it is going up late as well.

This edition covers John Hughes’ sacking by Hartlepool, James Beattie’s appointment as Accrington manager, and former Gillingham manager Andy Hessenthaler announcing his intent to return to management… and his belief that he would also have taken them up this year.

After two years of spending heavily, Swindon have announced their intention to make massive cuts for next year. Portsmouth will probably not be able to pay a transfer fee for a few years, as a result of being required to pay ‘football debts’ in full, and there’s the potential for a Coventry buyout by Preston Haskell IV, and investment as a result.

An Oxford supporters’ group, OxVox, have helped force the club’s ground to be designated as a ‘community asset’, protecting it against owners who want to sell it for a quick profit.

Aldershot and Wycombe have had financial problems, while a Yeovil fan has been denied the chance to take a flag into the playoff final… unless he paid £1500 for eight people to help him.

Yeovil manager Gary Johnson, immediately after having his flagpole yoinked from his fist. Possibly.

Click here to read Lower League Week – Managers and Money

Star Trekkin’ Across the Universe

The new Star Trek film, JJ Abrams’ second and the twelfth overall, is now in cinemas both in America as well as the UK (and presumably in one or two other countries).

Writing for the Ann Arbor Review, I’ve looked back across all 7 previous films starring the original characters, and reviewed them collectively, giving my thoughts on how the films measure up against each other, and purely as entertainment in their own rights.

While I don’t want to spoil what I have to say, Star Trek V is a total mess.

“I want to make a deep, serious film about the quest for God and the nature of free will, but with slapstick comedy!”

I hadn’t realised quite how much they vary in subject matter and style, but I enjoyed going back and rewatching some films I’ve not seen for quite some time.

Click here to read Marathon Man: Star Trek (Films I – IV)

Click here to read Marathon Man: Star Trek (V, VI, XI)

Squawka: Vincent Kompany’s Season

New on Squawka today, I’ve taken a look at Manchester City’s captain, Vincent Kompany. Absolutely dominant last year as City inched ahead of Manchester United for the Premier League title, he’s looked a little disappointing to me this season.

Not bad in any way, just disappointing, compared to last year.

I’ve broken down the various aspects of his game, this year and last, looking for differences and similarities.

Vincent Kompany, 2012 champion

Click here to read Is Vincent Kompany A Player in Decline?

Footballers Abroad: Like Living in a Foreign Country

New today on Squawka, I’ve taken a statisitical look at three English players based abroad in major European leagues. That’s David Beckham, Joey Barton, and Michael Mancienne.

David Beckham, pictured moments after a teammate told him his shirt was edible.

Click here to read Englishmen Abroad.

More Late Drama Than Sky Atlantic’s Through the Night Programming

On Friday BornOffside published my latest Lower League Week.

It begins with a summary of the events in the League One and Two playoff semi-finals, which were pretty dramatic.

I also covered the smaller, end of season stories.
Bury fan favourite Efe Sodje is in conflict with manager Kevin Blackwell, refusing to sign a new contract unless he leaves. Steve Fletcher has finally retired at the age of 40, not because decades of centre-forwarding have taken their toll on his body, but simply because he’s pretty far down the pecking order now.

Steve Fletcher: Retiree

Coventry were locked out of their stadium again after continuing to refuse to pay the rent (what are they like!) and Martin Ling, who’d been on sick leave, has been replaced as Torquay manager by Alan Knill.

Having narrowly survived relegation, Dagenham caretaker manager Wayne Burnett has been appointed as permanent manager, while Brian Flynn has decided against continuing as Doncaster boss despite their last minute title win.

And Luke McCormick has returned to Plymouth, the club that terminated his contract after he was convicted of causing the death of two young boys. Yeah, it’s not all sweetness and light.

Click here to read The Lower League Week – The Stoppage Time Equaliser Edition

They Don’t Exactly Avenge Anyone, Do They?

In recent years, Marvel’s cinematic arm has gone through an ambitious process – a series of seperate superhero films, coming together in a united film last summer.

Robert Downey Jr, pictured between smirks.

They intend to build on this – all that’s gone so far is classed as ‘Phase One’; ‘Phase Two’ is now underway, starting with Iron Man 3.

Writing for Ann Arbor Review, I’ve looked back at the films in Phase One.

Click here to read Marathon Man: The Avengers, Phase One

Last Week’s Last Day Drama

Although football in the Premiership and the Championship are ongoing, the normal season in Leagues One and Two are now complete.

Speaking as a Hartlepool fan, I’m glad to see the season go.

There’s been some pretty dramatic action on the final day, including an end to the Doncaster – Brentford game you may be aware of, and amazingly, 7 teams battling to avoid relegation from League Two on the final day.

And Jeremy Kyle, daytime TV talk show host, was invited to give a pre-match team talk, during which he presumably revealed the results of a DNA test to one of the players, and yelled at others.

Click here to read The Lower League Week: The Jimmy Glass Day Edition

The Mess Inside A Writer’s Mind

I’m sat here writing on Tuesday evening, a mess of more or less unrelated ideas flying around my head.

I’ve been thinking about statistics – how numbers are absolute, but the meaning is flexible. I’ve been wondering how exactly a character gets a cult following. I’ve received a blank envelope recently, which I know is the result of an administrative error, but I’m unsure what type of error – and I’ve been wondering if there’s the potential for a story growing out of it.

I’ve had two different pieces of writing published by two different sites today, and I’ve currently got two more longish things half-written. On top of all that, I’ve only just realised in the last ten minutes that, with today being Tuesday and the last day of the month (two things I realised separately) that makes tomorrow the first Wednesday of the month, and therefore Insecure Writers’ Support Group Day.